80s-90s / K-L / Poetry Translation

Jealousy is My Power – Ki Hyongdo

Jealousy is My Power
Ki Hyongdo (1960-1989)
After very long time passes by
A powerless bookmark will drop this paper
Because my mind had built too many factories then,
Foolishly, there were too many things to record.
Like a mutt that roams under clouds,
I tirelessly hesitated in the air.
For a groan was the only thing I had,
I vacantly erected my youth on every evening street
And marvelously counted the days I had lived.
As no one ever dreaded me
The only substance of my hope was jealousy
Hence, I leave a short note here above all:
My life has frantically searched for love
But never loved itself
 1989
 (translated by Jido Ahn. November 2015)

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Learn more about the poet: Ki Hyongdo (1960-1989)

질투는 나의 힘
기형도 (1960-1989)
아주 오랜 세월이 흐른 뒤에
힘없는 책갈피는 이 종이를 떨어뜨리리
그때 내 마음은 너무나 많은 공장을 세웠으니
어리석게도 그토록 기록할 것이 많았구나
구름 밑을 천천히 쏘다니는 개처럼
지칠 줄 모르고 공중에서 머뭇거렸구나
나 가진 것 탄식 밖에 없어
저녁 거리마다 물끄러미 청춘을 세워 두고
살아온 날들을 신기하게 세어보았으니
그 누구도 나를 두려워하지 않았으니
내 희망의 내용은 질투뿐이었구나
그리하여 나는 우선 여기에 짧은 글을 남겨둔다
나의 생은 미친 듯이 사랑을 찾아 헤매었으나
단 한 번도 스스로를 사랑하지 않았노라
(Ki Hyongdo is also known as Gi Hyeongdo)

Check Ki’s other poems in translation:

Worried about Mom

A Desert in Water

Empty House

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